


I HATE you, you got me BLUEBERRY PANCAKES instead of regular

by jqketav



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, M/M, but really they just cause minor inconveniences to each others day, there are other characters and background pairings, they treat it like a full blown blackrom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 14:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8165357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jqketav/pseuds/jqketav
Summary: Set after the game, in the new universe. All alt selves are combined with the main ones and everyone is happy and everyone's friends uwuExcept for John and Tavros. They hate each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i fuckigg love john♠️tav

You take a step out of your room, stretching slightly and yawning. Rubbing your eyes and heading back to grab your glasses, you flop back down on your- very, very comfortable, warm, and soft- bed. It is Way Too Early for this.

You plunge yourself deep into your fuzzy ghost blankets and curl into a little ball. The phone on your nightstand buzzes, but Dave can wait. Just, five more minutes. Then you'll get up. You really should've taken off your glasses. But you're so comfortable, wrapped in an incredibly incredible blanket.

The bunny slippers on your feet get kicked off so you can feel the Maximum Fuzziness of the blanket. Your only love. Fucking, blanket of the gods. Even makes sense given that you're kind of a god.

Your glasses are taken off and put right on top of your pillow that you don't use. The blanket goes over your head and now, you can truly be an egg.

Wrapped in grey-ish blankets and curled into a ball. This is why they (Dave) call you John Eggbort. And Eggo, Eggman, Leggy, and Johnny five dicks. The last one makes no sense even in context. You never got the context.

"Hey."

You crack open an eye to see who the whisperer is. But you fail to realize that A) You're not wearing your glasses, and B) You have a blanket over your head.

Suddenly, theres a weight- of probably like eighty something pounds (jesus christ)- crashing down on top of you. You uncurl yourself slightly to try and shove it off.

"Forever," you say, "Let me sleep forever."

"I made you a wicked crazy breakfast, one you will totally hate me for, and hate it in, uh... the process of eating it." Sigh. It's him. 

You shove Tavros off of your bed with a FWUMP and put your glasses on before saying, "Oh yeah? I'm curious to what it is that's gonna make me sooooo hate you."

He splays his limbs like a starfish and stares you right in the eye. "Ask me what it is, and I might be... so gratuitous- wait no- so able to-" He smacks his forehead and sighs angrily. "You know what I mean, asshole."

"What are you making for breakfast?" you say in the most bored and monotone voice that you can muster.

Tavros grins. You wouldn't really describe it as 'evilly' because of how babyish his alien face is, and how it's hard for him to even make an angry face. With his 'evil' grin he says, "I made pancakes."

Oh. Okay. Pancakes.

You squint an eye at him. "What makes you so sure that I'll hate them?"

"Oh you will most definitely be both seeing and tasting those reasons within the aforementend- afore- fuck it, pancakes."

You sit at the giant table (you forgot how many chairs there were and you don't bother asking). Sollux is slumped over a bowl of... something? He might be just resting his head in a bowl but you're not really sure. Man, trolls are weird and you've known them for like, three something years!!

"Hey AA can you carry me back to my respiteblock and dump my ass on my fork covered floor? Dropping me in the dishwasher would have the same effect but with less bees so I'd prefer the former."

Aradia, who had just entered the dining room, turns towards him for a second and then walks right back out. He leaves in a fluffy of psiionics and leaves you and Tavros at the table.

You sloppily pile multiple pancakes on top of each other, put a medium amount of syrup on them, and sit back down in the chair. Your plate lands with a thud as your fork falls off of it with a short clattering noise. Tavros remains with his not very evil grin while poking at an apple with a fork.

"That's not how you eat an apple, Tavros."

"I know what I'm about you uncool nerd guy."

You roll your eyes. "Right." After your sarcastic comment, you stab your own fork into your pancake stack and start cutting it up.

"Guess what's in the pancakes, John?" Tavros leans over the chair separating you, putting his chin on the table.

You're not sure until you take your first bite.

"Tavros?" you ask, staring at the chalk drawing covered wall in front of you. "You put blueberries in my pancakes."

"Yes."

"I'm... disgusted?" You turn your head towards him. "But that's a really shitty troll hate love thing thing to do. I thought you hated me enough to do something worse."

Tavros furrows his brows, and chuckles. "You haven't seen..." he says, and slams a box onto your pancakes, "THIS!!!"

No. It... it can't be.

"How dare you?" you whisper.

Bisquick.


End file.
